In Indian society family is still considered a tight unit, even though we are witnessing an erosion of the fabric of the joint family system into nuclear family. During labor women are constantly faced with a situation where well meaning close family such as mother or mother-in-laws want to be present to help them during this process. Some women feel comfortable having their mothers or mom-in-laws present along with their husbands, while others want only their husbands to be with them and feel stressed otherwise. We get many such questions in our Healthy Mother Lamaze classes from expectant parents about how to handle such situations.
So what should mothers and fathers do? How do they tackle the delicate task of letting their relatives know that they need privacy during labor and birth. Many a time the laboring mother’s mom or mom-in-law would want to be present out of concern for her daughter or daughter-in-law. It becomes a sensitive subject for the latter if she does not want them to be present. We have seen labors not progress, mothers not able to “let go” and the whole atmosphere become stressful if mothers are not comfortable emotionally and physically. In these situations, we advise the husband to talk to relatives about mother’s need for privacy and to sensitize them about why she needs privacy. We are happy that in all such situations relatives understood that it is in mother’s best interests and took our advice in the right spirit.
The lesson for health care providers is that it is extremely important to respect mother’s need for privacy and emotional comfort if labor is to progress well. Relatives should be sensitized to this aspect well beforehand so that we are not faced with a stressful situation during labor.